January 22, 2025

Dear, Kitty

I won’t spare any details because I know, as you typically say, that you like when I “spill the tea.”

Most Men call my micropenis “little clit.” Admittedly, I like this. I can’t stand the word “penis” when it’s in reference to my private part. Micropenis only half bothers me. “Micro” makes it seem so minuscule that it’s practically nonexistent. And if not nonexistent at least near-nonexistent. I can tolerate this. Because I’d rather have a near-nonexistent penis than a full-fledged penis. A manly penis? A penis-penis? Is that a thing? Who decided a penis was a penis anyway?

Penis, Kitty, comes from the Latin pēnis, which means tail. Can’t, then, a clit be a little penis? Isn’t it just a tiny tail? Still, even then, I’ve never liked when people refer to my little clit as a “girl penis” or “girl cock” or “lady dick” or any variation of a feminized pēnis. Any connection made of my little clit to a fully-developed penis makes me cringe.

I started watching pornographic videos to examine women’s clitorises, to see how close my little clit was to looking like a “real” clit. “Nubile Latina Squirts,” “Petite Teen Slut Plays With Her Pussy,” “White Girl Gets Double Fisted” were some of the titles of the videos I watched. There were clitorises I considered big, some small, and some medium. I understand why there are so many references to vulvas as flowers. It does look like a blossoming flower. Like a nyctinastic flower, a morning glory, opening and closing.

I stumbled upon a video, as one does when scrolling through porn sites in the name of research, you know, like Gail Dines, of a trans man getting fingered by a cis white man. Before the video starts there is a two-minute lecture discussing the need for a conversation on how to refer to a transgender individual’s genitals before any sexual contact. As ridiculous as it seemed to me, the trans man laying naked, his legs spread open, in between the legs of the white man, I thought it very considerate. I’ve never had a man ask me what I prefer my little clit to be called. They’re typically too eager to touch me that it either goes unnamed or they settle for “little clit,” which I now understand to be the default name of my little clit to many men.

Here’s something I never say out loud—men enjoy licking my little clit. I didn’t like it at first. Gay, gay, gay I thought. And I didn’t want to be with a gay man or have gay sex. But Buddy reassured me that it didn’t make him gay.

“It’s not gay if it’s on you,” said Buddy. “It’s basically a clit.”

“Is it?” I said.

“You are a woman, right?” said Buddy.

Of course I’m a woman, Kitty. I responded with a simple nod and Buddy continued to rapidly flick his warm tongue on my little clit. I have the terrible habit of asking too many questions when someone touches my body because it somehow makes me feel like they’re more deserving to touch me if I get an answer.

For a long time I believed the only unwomanly thing on my body was my little clit, but body parts don’t dictate who we are, Kitty.

Yours Truly,

Athena