“Kitty, do people ever start loving you again? Or did they never love you to begin with?”

Dear, Kitty

Has anyone ever told you they love you and then turn around and un-love you? 

It happened to me. It happens to me. I guess it’s my fault though. I like to test the elasticity of people’s love because I’m a skeptic and I hate myself. See how far and how much I can stretch it before it snaps. And it usually does snap. It doesn’t take much like I hope it will. 

See, I’ve got this idea about people and love. They don’t know what real love is. And before you say anything, I know. I know I’m the last person who should be talking about love if I scarcely show it. But at the very least I don’t stop loving people when I say I won’t. In that respect, I know what true love is. There are no if’s or but’s. It comes with no conditions. I won’t stop loving you because you have a shitty attitude sometimes or because you missed my birthday dinner and didn’t want to come to my slumber party later on that night like Iris did. I wasn’t feeling too good from my mind.

Hell, I won’t stop loving you if you beat me with an electrical cord and insinuate my best friend and I are “faggots” for hanging out so much like my mom did. Or actually call me a faggot like my uncle did.

I still love Iris. And whether she knows it or not, feels it or not, I don’t care. I know it. I feel it. My love for her is indefinitely unbroken. Even more malleable than gold. Gold breaks. My love doesn’t. 

Sometimes I want to pick up the phone and call her but I don’t know if her un-love for me has turned to hate. 

Kitty, do people ever start loving you again? Or did they never love you to begin with?

Yours Truly 

Athena Vasquez